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Advice from Burglar Bill                                              Burglar Bill

 

 "I can kick in most doors. Why bother to lock up if the door is flimsy? If it's 44mm thick and the frame and hinges are sound, all I'll get is a sore toe".

 

"Keep grandma's jewellery in a safe. Just make sure you bolt it down, so I can't run off with it".

 

"Pyracantha is a nightmare. So plant it beneath the windows. It's also called firethorn, and along with hawthorn, blackthorn and holly, is one of the plants I avoid".

 

"Psst—I know about fake soup cans and your other secret hiding places.  I'll search your bed, ransack the kids rooms and look in cereal boxes and t he fridge.  If you want to keep your money safe., put it in bank".

 

"Use your garage. Then I can't see your Porsche, let alone nick it".

 

"That's not graffiti on your gate.  It's a tag that tells my gang your vulnerable.  Paint it out and call your local Crime Prevention Officer".

"Neighbourhood Watch stickers work. I'm not going to go there if I spot one, am I?".

"Uh-oh, a gravel driveway ..... You'll hear me coming a mile off".

 

"You often invite me in. Three times out of ten I'll get in through an unlocked door or an open window. Sometimes I pose as a market researcher or meter reader, flashing an ID card I've printed. Or I'll keep you talking while my mate runs in through your back door".